Bengaluru Man Tracks Friendships on Excel for 6 Years

A Bengaluru-based professional has gone viral after revealing that he tracked his friendships on Excel for six years, analysing what he described as their “return on investment” (ROI).

In a post shared on X, Pankaj said he created a personal system called “Ziya”, which works like a customer relationship management (CRM) tool for the people in his life. According to him, the system records patterns of interaction, context and how he feels after conversations.

He wrote that if someone’s “ROI” remains negative for a long time, he reduces engagement. While acknowledging that many people may see the approach as “cold” or transactional, he argued that time is limited and should be invested carefully.

Breaking Down Friendships Into Hours

According to Pankaj’s six-year dataset, building a meaningful friendship requires significant time.

He estimated that moving from first contact to a genuine conversation takes about 8–12 hours. Building trust may require 45–60 hours over three to six months. Reaching emotional vulnerability, he claimed, can take an additional 80–120 hours over 12–18 months.

In total, he calculated that forming one close friendship could require between 128 and 192 hours.

Maintenance, he said, also demands effort. Around 30–40 hours annually for regular interaction, 12–15 hours for important occasions such as birthdays, and about seven hours for updates on major life changes. This, he estimated, adds up to roughly 45–65 hours per year per friend.

‘Uncomfortable Realisation’

Reflecting on six attempts at forming new friendships between 2019 and 2025, Pankaj claimed he spent around 354 hours, with those contacts now reduced to “just names” in his phone.

He wrote that people have limited emotional bandwidth and that he can maintain only about five to eight deep relationships and 10–12 meaningful ones at a time.

Currently, he said he has four close friends, each known for 8–12 years, and spends nearly 400 hours a year nurturing those bonds.

He also shared probability-based estimates from his personal data. According to him, a new friendship formed at age 25 has around a 72–73% chance of ending within two years. He stressed that these figures are based on a small personal dataset and represent “perspective, not proof.”

Online Reactions

The post drew mixed reactions on social media.

Some users criticised the idea of applying an ROI framework to human relationships, saying conversations should not be treated as measurable investments.

Others found the analysis thought-provoking. A few commented that the post highlights the importance of valuing existing close friendships rather than constantly seeking new connections.

While opinions remain divided, the discussion reflects a broader debate about time management, emotional capacity and how modern professionals view relationships in a data-driven world.